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Monday, September 15 2014
 
 
 
I Didn't Marry My Best Friend
Shutterstock

At many weddings these days, whether on picturesque hillsides or at funky warehouses or in swanky ballrooms, newly minted husbands and wives proudly declare to friends and family, “I married my best friend.”

If you attended a wedding this summer, you likely heard the phrase, now so standard in romantic rhetoric that we forget it’s not part of the traditional ceremony. “I married my best friend” appears in vows, program dedications, toasts, and other aww-inducing moments (not to mention the cards, frames, cufflinks, wine glasses, and other Etsy-inspired wares that attend modern weddings).

The sentiment, repeated in Facebook posts on anniversaries, is shorthand for the special relationship with someone we are comfortable with, who listens, loves, and encourages. From secular folks to Christians who firmly believe that God sent them the one, nearly all the married people I know are “so blessed” (or “lucky”) to get to spend their lives wedded to their best friends.

Even if couples don’t announce that they’re marrying their best friend, many newlyweds live out this philosophy, dropping out of the friend-making game once they have a ring on their finger. Sociologists find that these days, we typically form our most meaningful friendships prior to age 28. Not coincidentally, that’s also the average age we get married.

Marrying your best friend is enough of a cultural expectation that if I admit I didn’t, people might pity me. But here’s the secret: I’m actually the lucky one. I have a husband who isn’t my best friend. And I have a best friend whom I’m not married to. They play different roles in my life, and I need them both.

One Person Can’t Meet All Your Needs

For Christians, marriage is a relationship set apart, wherein we assume the cares and concerns of our spouse (1 Cor. 7:32–35; Eph. 5:22–33) in a way that supersedes any other friendship. Of course married people find their most significant relationship in their husband or wife—but that doesn’t equate to being BFFs.

I worry that the saying “I married my best friend” conflates the two types of relationships, distorting our views of both.

My marriage remains my priority... But without my friends, my relationship with my husband—and with God—would suffer.

Researchers have already noticed the trend: People increasingly expect their husbands or wives to meet all their social and emotional needs. The phrase implies that, since married people have each other, they don’t have best friends anymore and don’t need them. And it exaggerates the risks young couples already face: setting up unhealthy expectations, looking to each other as the sole source of fulfillment. It also relegates best friends to the realm of singleness.

Making friends in your late 20s and beyond is a whole different game. Not only are there fewer opportunities to meet people, there are also fewer people to meet, since married folks tend to pull themselves off the friendship market. Plenty of young couples dedicate more time to catching up on their Netflix queue than seeing their neighbors, coworkers, and old buddies. My husband and I have been guilty, and so have plenty of our friends. They update Facebook about spending yet another weekend in, joking about becoming “a boring old married couple.”

And yet friends can actually support—not detract from—our marriages. Psychology journalist Carlin Flora writes in her book Friendfluence:

Putting your best self forward for new friends allows you to shine and to see your partner through new eyes as she shines, too. Maintaining older mutual friendships also strengthens the bond between long-term partners: Having people around who think of the two of you as a unit, who admire your relationship, and who expect you to stay together can sustain you through times of doubt or distance.

 

When I got married, I knew I didn’t want us to become one of those couples who stopped making friends or fell out of touch. Maybe it’s because I knew I couldn’t rely on my husband, who is in the Army, to always be there to meet my needs. Or maybe it’s because I have really incredible friends, whom I’d much rather see Twilight with or ask fashion advice from than my spouse.

Don’t get me wrong: My marriage remains my priority, the place where God has done the most to reveal the gospel to me. But without my friends, my relationship with my husband—and with God—would suffer. I gain much from being around others and receiving their perspectives and their prayers. Time spent with friends also keeps me from idolizing my husband as “my everything,” a habit many married people struggle to resist.

Making Friendship a Priority

I want to intentionally be open to the multiple relationships God will use to work in my life and the many opportunities I may have in others’. But those kinds of relationships don’t happen by accident. Here’s where friendship is like marriage: It takes work.

On her sitcom The Mindy Project, Mindy Kaling declares, “A best friend isn’t a person. It’s a tier.” I’m in her camp. I have a best friend from growing up, a best friend from college, and others from my early 20s. It’d be easy for these relationships to fizzle out, so I make it a priority to visit, even when it requires sacrifice, and to regularly text, call, and write in between.

We moved around a lot when I was growing up. Always the new girl in school, I think back to a note my mom placed in my lunchbox: “To make a friend, you have to be a friend.” Decades later, I’ve found it still takes initiative and effort to sustain friendships. If we look to Jesus as an example, he selected friends to invest in. He had a best friend (John) and a best friend tier (the disciples). He says to them in John 15:12–15 (ESV):

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Verse after Bible verse speaks of the “sweetness” (Prov. 27:9, ESV) and value of faithful friends. God wouldn’t have us give up these relationships for marriage, but continue to sharpen (Prov. 27:17) and grow one another in this special context.

We regularly talk about upholding and enhancing marriage and family life for their gospel witness, as we should. I’d like us to start doing the same with friendship. We need friends not only for our health, careers, and happiness, but more importantly, for the way they witness to our siblinghood in Christ. And from the meaningful ties of friendship often come opportunities to introduce others to Jesus, the one who calls us his friends in the first place (John 15:15).

I didn’t marry my best friend. Instead, I married my husband, with all my best friends beside me to celebrate. It was the happiest day of my life. I got—and still get—to have both.

Kate Shellnutt is associate editor of Her.meneutics, CT’s women’s site.

 
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Christianity Today
I Didn’t Marry My Best Friend
Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 02:23 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Tuesday, July 08 2014

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Leadership Journal

The following article is located at: http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2014/july/can-neuroscience-help-us-disciple-anyone.html

Can Neuroscience Help Us Disciple Anyone?

Can Neuroscience Help Us Disciple Anyone?

Brain science and the renewal of your mind.

For an article about ministry and neuroscience, it seems only right to begin with Scripture. So we start with one of the great neurological texts of the Bible: "David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth" (1 Sam. 17:49, KJV).

Neuroscience has gained so much attention recently that it can seem like we're the first humans to discover a connection between the physical brain and spiritual development. But way back in Bible times, before EEGs and HMOs, people had noticed that putting a rock through someone's skull tends to inhibit their thinking.

For those of us in church leadership, information about "the neuroscience of everything" is everywhere. How much do we need to know about it? What new light does it shed on human change processes that those of us in the "transformation business" need to know? Does it cast doubt on the Christian view of persons as spiritual beings who are not merely physical?

Why is Neuroscience Exploding?

Neuroscience studies the nervous system in general and the brain in particular. Neurobiology looks at the chemistry of cells and their interactions; cognitive neuroscience looks at how the brain supports or interacts with psychological processes; something called computational neuroscience builds computer models to test theories.

Most of our behavior-typing, tying a shoe, or driving-is governed by habits imprinted on our brains. So is discipleship.

Because the mind can be directed to any topic, there can be a "neuroscience" of almost any topic. Neurotheology looks at the brain as we believe, think, and pray about God. Researcher Andrew Newberg has shown the brain-altering power of such practices as prayer by looking at changes in the brain-state of nuns engaged in the practice for over 15 years as well as Pentecostals praying in tongues. It turns out that intense practice of prayer means their brains are much more impacted by their prayer than inexperienced or casual pray-ers. To find out who the true prayer-warriors in your church are, you could hook everybody up to electrodes, but it might be a little embarrassing. Paul Bloom pointed out that we shouldn't be surprised by this; the surprising thing would be if people experience a profound state without their brains being affected.

Brain studies made steady progress through the twentieth century; my own original doctoral advisor at Fuller Seminary was Lee Travis, who pioneered the use of the electroencephalogram at the University of Iowa in the 1930s. But for a long time, no one could actually look inside a working brain to watch it in operation.

That changed in the 1990s with functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), which allows researchers to track the flow of oxygen-rich blood (a proxy for neuron activity) in real time. Now it became possible to find out what part of the brain is involved in any given sequence of conscious activity, and how brain functions of liberals versus conservatives or religious versus non-religious people may differ from each other. It also became possible to find out if that guy in the second row whose eyes are closed when you're preaching really does have something going on in his brain during the sermon.

Why I'm Thankful for Neuroscience

"All truth is God's truth," Augustine said, and a deep part of what it means to "exercise dominion" is to learn all we can about what God has created. And there is very little God created that is more fascinating or more relevant to our well-being than our brains.

Neuroscience has immense potential to relieve human suffering. Already neuroscientists have found ways to alleviate symptoms of Parkinsons and create cochlear implants. Our church had a baptism service recently and several of those being baptized were young adults who suffer from cognitive challenges. In each case their parents were in tears. For those of us doing ministry to be aware of advances in brain science is part of caring for those in our congregation.

Research into the teenage brain made clear that the human brain isn't really fully developed until people are well into their twenties. Previously it was thought that the teenage brain was just "an adult brain with fewer miles on it." It turns out that the frontal lobes, which are associated with choosing and decision-making as well as with impulse-control and emotional management, are not fully connected—they lack the myelin coating that allows efficient communication between one part of the brain and another.

Christians have brains and neurons that are as fallible as atheist neurons and new age neurons.

This helps explains the ancient mantra of parents and student ministry leaders everywhere: "What were you thinking?" Churches can help parents of teenagers understand why a practice as simple as insisting their teenage children get a good night's sleep is so necessary. They can also help parents set expectations for their teenagers' emotional lives at an appropriate level. They can also remind church leaders who are doing talks for teenagers to keep them short!

Neuroscience can also teach us compassion. For too long people who suffered from emotional or mental illness have been stigmatized. Churches—which should have been the safest places to offer healing and care—were sometimes among the most judgmental communities because it was assumed that if people simply got their spiritual lives together, their emotions should be fine.

Rick and Kay Warren noted after the death of their son: "Any other organ in my body can get broken and there's no shame, no stigma to it. My liver stops working, my heart stops working, my lungs stop working. Well, I'll just say, 'Hey, I've got diabetes, or a defective pancreas or whatever,' but if my brain is broken, I'm supposed to feel shame. And so a lot of people who should get help don't."

Pastors can offer great help to their congregation when we simply acknowledge the reality that followers of Jesus do not get a free pass from mental health problems. Christians have brains and neurons that are as fallible as atheist neurons and New Age neurons.

Beyond that, I'm thankful for neuroscience because it is helping us understand better how our bodies work, and that enables us better to "offer our bodies a living sacrifice to God." Knees that spend long hours in prayer change their shape. So do brains.

The Limits of Neuroscience

One of the reasons it's important for pastors to be conversant with the topic is that neuroscience is being accorded enormous authority in our day—not always for good reasons. I joke with a neuroresearcher friend of mine (who helped a lot with this article but wants to remain anonymous) that the easiest way to get an article published today is to pick any human behavior and …

  1. Show which parts of the brain are most active when thinking about that topic;
  2. Explain why evolutionary psychology has shown that behavior is important to our survival;
  3. Give four common-sense tips for handling that behavior better—none of which has anything to do with #1 or #2.

Precisely because neuroscience has so much prestige, those of us who teach at churches need to be aware of its limitations as well as its findings. It's one thing to say that our brain chemistry or genetic predisposition may affect our attitudes or beliefs or behaviors. It's another thing to say we are nothing but our brain chemistry.

Sometimes writers make claims in popular literature that would never make it into a peer-reviewed academic journal. One example is a recent book, We Are Our Brains, which makes the claim that there is no such thing as free will, that our brains predetermine everything including our moral character and our religious leanings, so there is no good reason to believe God exists either.

Because neuroscience has so much prestige, we church leaders need to be aware of its limitations as well as its findings.

People may be under the impression that "science" has proven this. This is sometimes called "nothing buttery"; the idea that we are "nothing but" our physical selves.

Yet let's be clear: we are not just our brains.

No one has ever seen a thought, or an idea, or a choice. A neuron firing is not the same thing as a thought, even though they may coincide. A brain is a thing, a human being is a person.

God doesn't have a brain, Dallas Willard used to say, and he's never missed it at all. (Dallas actually used to say that's why for God every decision is a "no-brainer," but I will not repeat that because it's too much of a groaner, even for Dallas.)

Neuroscience can help us understand moral and spiritual development. It shows the importance of genetic predispositions in areas of character and attitudes—from political orientation to sexuality. But it has not shown that personal responsibility or dependence on God are irrelevant. It does not replace the pastor or trump the Bible.

The Neuroscience of Sin And Habits

Neuroscience has shown us in concrete ways a reality of human existence that is crucial for disciples to understand in our struggle with sin. That reality is this: mostly our behavior does not consist of a series of conscious choices. Mostly, our behavior is governed by habit. Most of the time, a change of behavior requires the acquisition of new habits. Willpower and conscious decision have very little power over what we do.

A habit is a relatively permanent pattern of behavior that allows you to navigate life. The capacity for habitual behavior is indispensible. When you first learn how to type or tie a shoe or drive a car, it's hard work. So many little steps to remember. But after you learn, it becomes habitual. That means it is quite literally "in your body" (or "muscle memory"). At the level of your neural pathways. Neurologists call this process where the brain converts a sequence of actions into routine activity "chunking."

Chunking turns out to be one of the most important dynamics in terms of sin and discipleship. Following Jesus is, to a large degree, allowing the Holy Spirit to "re-chunk" my life. This is a physical description of Paul's command to the Romans: " … but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Habits are enormously freeing. They are what allows my body to be driving my car while my mind is planning next week's sermon.

But sin gets into our habits. This is the tragedy of fallen human nature. Self-serving words just come out of my mouth; jealousy comes unbidden when I meet someone who leads a larger church or preaches better; chronic ingratitude bubbles up time and again; I cater to someone I perceive to be attractive or important.

Neuroscience research gives us a clearer picture (and deeper fear) of what might be called the "stickiness" of sin. It is helping us to understand more precisely, or at least more biologically, exactly what Paul meant when he talked about sin being "in our members." He was talking about human beings as embodied creatures—sin is in the habitual patterns that govern what our hands do and where our eyes look and words our mouths say. Habits are in our neural pathways. And sin gets in our habits. So sin gets in our neurons.

Like so much else, our neurons are fallen, and can't get up. They need redemption.

The Neuroscience of Discipleship

You can override a habit by willpower for a moment or two. Reach for the Bible. Worship. Pray. Sing. You feel at peace with God for a moment. But then the sinful habit reemerges.

Habits eat willpower for breakfast.

When Paul says there is nothing good in our "sinful nature," he is not talking about a good ghost inside you fighting it out with a bad ghost inside you. Paul is a brilliant student of human life who knows that evil, deceit, arrogance, greed, envy, and racism have become "second nature" to us all.

Sanctification is, among other things, the process by which God uses various means of grace to re-program our neural pathways. This is why Thomas Aquinas devoted over 70 pages of the Summa Theologica to the cultivation of holy habits.

It's why 12-step groups appeal, not to willpower, but to acquiring new habits through which we can receive power from God to do what willpower never could.

Neuroscience has helped to show the error of any "spirituality" that divorces our "spiritual life" from our bodies. For example, it has been shown that the brains of healthy people instructed to think about a sad event actually look a lot like the brains of depressed people.

"Spiritual growth" is not something that happens separate from our bodies and brains; it always includes changes within our bodies. Paul wrote, "I beat my body to make it my slave"—words that sound foreign to us, but in fact describe people who seek to master playing the cello or running a marathon. I seek to make the habits and appetites of my body serve my highest values, rather than me becoming a slave to my habits and appetites. What makes such growth spiritual is when it is done through the power and under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Paul's language remains unimprovable: We offer our bodies as living sacrifices so that our minds can be renewed.

One of the great needs in churches is for pastors and congregations to experiment with discipleship pathways that address the particular context that we face. Pornography (and misguided sexuality in general) has always rewired the brain. But now porn is so incredibly accessible that men and women can be exposed to it any time they want for as long as they want as privately as they want. Each time that connection between explicit images and sexual gratification is established, the neural pathway between the two grows deeper—like tires making ever-deepening ruts in a road.

Simply hearing that sexual sin is bad, or hearing correct theological information, does not rewire those pathways. What is required is a new set of habits, which will surely include confession and repentance and fellowship and accountability and the reading of Scripture, through which God can create new and deeper pathways that become the new "second nature," the "new creation."

At our church not long ago, one of our members spoke openly about many years of shame around sexual addiction. His courageous openness stilled the congregation, and it led to the formation of a recovery ministry that is one of the most vibrant in our church.

The Neuroscience of Virtue

Kent Dunnington has written a wonderfully helpful book, Addiction and Virtue. He notes that many federal health institutes and professional organizations assume addiction is a "brain disease" purely "because the abuse of drugs leads to changes in the structure and function of the brain." However, playing the cello and studying for a London taxi license and memorizing the Old Testament also lead to changes in the structure and function of the brain. Shall we call them diseases, too?

Dunnington says that addiction is neither simply a physical disease nor a weakness of the will; that to understand it correctly, we need to resurrect an old spiritual category: habit. We have habits because we are embodied creatures; most of our behaviors are not under our conscious control. That's a great gift from God—if we had to concentrate on brushing our teeth or tying our shoes every time we did that, life would be impossible.

But sin has gotten into our habits, into our bodies, including our neurons.

Partly, we may be pre-disposed to this.

For example, people with a version of the Monoamine oxidase A (MOA) gene that creates less of the enzyme tend to have more troubles with anger and impulse control. (If you have that version of MOA, you're feeling a little testy right now.) This means that when Paul says "In your anger, do not sin," some people are predisposed to struggle with this more than others.

That doesn't mean that such people are robots or victims or not responsible for their behavior. It does explain part of why Jesus tells us to "Judge not"; none of us knows the genetic material that any other person is blessed with or battling in any given moment.

This also shows that the people in our churches will not be transformed simply by having more exegetical or theological information poured into them—no matter how correct that information may be. The information has to be embodied, has to become habituated into attitudes, patterns of response, and reflexive action.

The reason that spiritual disciplines are an important part of change is that they honor the physical nature of human life. Information alone doesn't override bad habits. God uses relationships, experiences, and practices to shape and re-shape the character of our lives that gets embedded at the most physical level.

A few decades ago scientists did a series of experiments where monkeys were taught how to pinch food pellets in deep trays. As the monkeys got faster at this practice, the parts of the brain controlling the index finger and thumb actually grew bigger. This and other experiments showed that the brain is not static as had often been thought, but is dynamic, able to change from one shape to another. This is true for human beings as well. The part of violinists' brains that controls their left hand (used for precise fingering movements) will be bigger than the part that controls their right hand.

But wait—there's more. In another study, people were put into one of three groups; one group did nothing; one exercised their pinky finger, a third group spent 15 minutes a day merely thinking about exercising their pinky finger. As expected the exercisers got stronger pinkies. But amazingly—so did the people who merely thought about exercising. Changes in the brain can actually increase physical strength.

No wonder Paul wrote: "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Every thought we entertain is, in a real sense, doing a tiny bit of brain surgery on us.

Here's a thought worth contemplating: what must Jesus' brain have been like? Imagine having neural circuits honed and trained to trust God, to respond to challenge with peace, or to irritation with love, or to need with confident prayer.

Here's another thought worth contemplating: We have the mind of Christ.

That's worth wrapping your brain around.

John Ortberg is pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in California.

Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 01:40 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Thursday, May 08 2014

'Love Addiction': Biology Gone Wrong?

Deborah Brauser

May 07, 2014

NEW YORK ― "Love addiction," a condition characterized by severe pervasive and excessive interest toward a romantic partner, may actually be a form of attachment disorder, new research suggests.

A new literature review of studies using the terms "love addiction," "pathological love," and "behavioral addiction" showed possible involvement of the brain reward dopaminergic system as well as attachment-related biological systems.

"We wondered where does love, a feeling of well-being, devolve into addiction? And what might be the criteria for love addiction and its destructive and dysfunctional behaviors?" asked Vineeth P. John, MD, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral health at the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston, during a press briefing here at the American Psychiatric Association 2014 Annual Meeting.

Still, he told Medscape Medical News that it is important not to medicalize normal, albeit deep, love. Instead, clinicians should be concerned if patients stay in a relationship despite danger or if have severe pining long after a breakup despite knowing the relationship is over.

"There is an urgent need for a better conceptualization of [love addiction] from a nosological and neurobiological perspective," the investigators note.

"This would be the first step in devising controlled studies aiming at properly assessing the efficacy of different psychosocial and pharmacological interventions in the treatment of this intriguing condition."

Lack of Control

Dr. John reported that the researchers wanted to question whether being addicted to love was possible and if so, whether it could be a diagnosable disorder.

Dr. Vineeth John

They defined love addiction as a pattern of maladaptive behaviors and intense interest toward 1 or even more romantic partners at the detriment of other interests and resulting in a lack of control and significant impact on functionality.

Although it can occur simultaneously with substance dependence or sex or gambling disorders, it can also be considered an addiction behavior itself, a part of a mood or obsessive-compulsive disorder, or even a part of erotomania.

"It is thought that it affects as many as 3% of the population. And in certain subsets of young adults, it may even go up to 25%," said Dr. John.

He added that individuals who are most at risk for the condition include those with an immature concept of love, a maladaptive social environment, or high levels of impulsivity and anxiety; are anxious-ambivalent or "seductive narcissists"; or have structural affective dependence.

Results from the analysis showed that a picture of a participant's "beloved" elicited activation in the brainstem, the right ventral tegmental area (VTA), and the caudate nucleus regions. These areas have been shown to be central to the brain's reward, memory, and learning functions and have been implicated in substance abuse.

In addition, addiction and attachment disorders share overlapping neural circuits, through the VTA to the nucleus accumbens.

"So basically, what we might be looking at is an attachment problem," he said.

Love Molecules

He also reported that 4 possible "molecules of love" include dopamine (which incites desire and facilitates repetition of love behavior), oxytocin (which mediates social behavior), the opioid hormone (which activates pleasure sensations), and vasopressin (which affects protective behaviors).

Interestingly, men who carried the "allele 334 for the gene coding for vasopressin receptor (AVP R1A)" showed less stable relationships.

"But the most plausible and practical aspect of love addiction would be to look at how to treat it," said Dr. John.

Because they found few studies examining benefits of psychotherapy and no studies assessing the efficacy of medications for this condition, the investigators came up with hypothetical guidelines for target symptom interventions.

For psychosocial treatments, they suggested self-help groups, cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychodynamic psychotherapy, or enrolling in Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

In addition, they suggested using selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and/or antidepressants to treat obsessive thoughts about a romantic partner; mood stabilizers to treat mood instability or seeking out multiple partners; mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, naltrexone, or buprenorphine for treating impulsive seeking of romantic partners; and oxytocin or vasopressin for treating impaired attachments.

"It might be possible to devise drug-based therapies for the treatment of difficult love, based on neurobiological substrates," said Dr. John.

"But this is clearly a futuristic concept. We cannot medicalize noble human emotions. This particular addiction has to be harmful, disruptive, and destructive and cause significant psychological distress. And the treatment has to be totally voluntary," he added.

"Overall, it's time to think about our patients, or at least a small subset of them who are clearly suffering with what is probably an attachment problem."

Worth Pursuing

"I think this is a very important area of study," said Jeffrey Borenstein, MD, president and CEO of the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation in New York City.

Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein

"The issue of attachment is extremely important because it relates to other conditions that we treat, including some of the personality disorders," he added.

Dr. Borenstein, who was not involved with this research, was moderator of the press briefing.

He noted that the investigators' approach of looking specifically at the question of love addiction was interesting.

"Obviously Dr. John is not saying that we have pills for this or even that we should be treating this. But I think it's an area of study worth learning more about," concluded Dr. Borenstein.

The study authors report no relevant financial relationships.

American Psychiatric Association's 2014 Annual Meeting. Abstract NR8-35. Poster presented May 6, 2014.

 
Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 09:16 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Thursday, March 27 2014

Your Brain as a Car

  • Driver sits on the Front left side
    • Thinks
    • Makes Decisions
    • Freewill sits in this sit
    • This part controls the wheel, brakes, and gas
    • The Adult part of the brain
    • Is confused or overwhelmed by stress
    • Stress comes from outside/other drivers
    • Stress comes from inside/other passengers
    • Bottom line Behavior sits in this seat—this is what you do
  • The Navigator sits on the right front side
    • This is your conscience
    • Your moral values and belief system resides here
    • This is your Parent within
    • This part has the map and looks where you have been, where you are, and where you are heading
    • It influences the Driver by telling the Driver what it Believes you should be doing
    • It feels guilty about the past (what you did or did not do)
    • It feels worried or concerned about the present (what you are doing or not doing)
    • It feels anxious about the future (where you are or are not heading)
    • It is in continual dialogue with the Driver while keeping alert and watchful of the other passenger in the backseat
  • The Child sits in the backseat
    • All the primary emotions of anger, fear, and joy reside here
    • Anger, fear, and joy can be combined to make all the other emotions
    • The child sits in front of a surround sound movie screen that has all the memories/movies of the past
    • Movies/memories can be past, present, or future if stored as real
    • The child does not know the difference between real and imagined
    • The child thinks in pictures, images, and emotions but not so much in words
    • The child sees what is going on in the front seat and senses if the two adults in the front are in agreement
    • The child also looks out the window of the car but sees like a child and not an adult
    • The emergency brake—the fight/flight mechanism is in the backseat with the child
    • Therefore the child does not drive the car but can cause it to brake and can hijack the brain
    • The child is not immoral but amoral
    • The child moves towards pleasure and away from pain
    • Memories of pain are stored in twice the chemical quantity as pleasurable memories at the cellular level
    • The child works on Feelings and emotions regardless of whether they are real or not they are real to the child
  • Congruence or harmony is where the Adult, Parent, and Child are in agreement
    • All information comes into and is screened by the amygdala—the part that directs all sensory data throughout the brain
    • The wiring from the amygdala is shorter to the back of the brain—the child, then the front of the brain—the adults
    • Therefore we react before we think and are then left to explain are actions to ourselves and others
    • As a man/person thinks in his heart (his inner child) so is he
    • Out of the heart (the inner child) the mouth speaks
    • In Romans 7:14-28 Paul describes the conflict between the child and the adult parts of the brain
    • In Romans the 8th chapter he describes how we have to learn to walk by the Spirit and not be sight
  • The insula is the GPS or God Positioning System that fires into the gut
    • Our gut level feelings are up to 70% accurate
    • Decisions made in the brain and not the gut are only on the average 25% accurate
    • We need to learn to trust our gut
    • The insula is more active and developed in people who meditate and pray
  • Bottom line: All parts of the brain need to listen to the insula and learn to trust our gut
Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 08:51 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Monday, August 12 2013
August 12, 2013, 2:53 pm

A Glut of Antidepressants

Over the past two decades, the use of antidepressants has skyrocketed. One in 10 Americans now takes an antidepressant medication; among women in their 40s and 50s, the figure is one in four.

Experts have offered numerous reasons. Depression is common, and economic struggles have added to our stress and anxiety. Television ads promote antidepressants, and insurance plans usually cover them, even while limiting talk therapy. But a recent study suggests another explanation: that the condition is being overdiagnosed on a remarkable scale.

The study, published in April in the journal Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, found that nearly two-thirds of a sample of more than 5,000 patients who had been given a diagnosis of depression within the previous 12 months did not meet the criteria for major depressive episode as described by the psychiatrists’ bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (or D.S.M.).

The study is not the first to find that patients frequently get “false positive” diagnoses for depression. Several earlier review studies have reported that diagnostic accuracy is low in general practice offices, in large part because serious depression is so rare in that setting.

Elderly patients were most likely to be misdiagnosed, the latest study found. Six out of seven patients age 65 and older who had been given a diagnosis of depression did not fit the criteria. More educated patients and those in poor health were less likely to receive an inaccurate diagnosis.

The vast majority of individuals diagnosed with depression, rightly or wrongly, were given medication, said the paper’s lead author, Dr. Ramin Mojtabai, an associate professor at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.

Most people stay on the drugs, which can have a variety of side effects, for at least two years. Some take them for a decade or more.

“It’s not only that physicians are prescribing more, the population is demanding more,” Dr. Mojtabai said. “Feelings of sadness, the stresses of daily life and relationship problems can all cause feelings of upset or sadness that may be passing and not last long. But Americans have become more and more willing to use medication to address them.”

By contrast, the Dutch College of General Practitioners last year urged its members to prescribe antidepressants only in severe cases, and instead to offer psychological treatment and other support with daily life. Officials noted that depressive symptoms may be a normal, transient reaction to disappointment or loss.

Ironically, while many patients in the United States are inappropriately diagnosed with depression, many who actually have it suffer without treatment. Dr. Mark Olfson, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, noted that from the time they develop major depression, it takes Americans eight years on average to seek care.

Diagnosing depression is an inherently subjective task, said Dr. Jeffrey Lieberman, the president of the American Psychiatric Association.

“It would be great if we could do a blood test or a lab test or do an EKG,” Dr. Lieberman said, noting that similar claims of overtreatment have been made about syndromes like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. “A diagnosis is made by symptoms and history and observation.”

The new study drew 5,639 individuals who had been diagnosed with depression from among a nationally representative sample of over 75,000 adults who took part in the National Survey of Drug Use and Health in 2009 and 2010. The subjects were then interviewed in person with questions based on the D.S.M.-4 criteria.

Only 38.4 percent of the participants met these criteria for depression during the previous year, Dr. Mojtabai said.

It’s possible some of the participants did not appear to be depressed because they had already been successfully treated, said Dr. Jeffrey Cain, the president of the Academy of Family Physicians. Their improved mood may also have colored the way they responded to questions about the past.

“If I’m checking people who are being treated for high blood pressure and taking medication, I would expect it to be better when I’m checking them,” Dr. Cain said.

According to the D.S.M., a diagnosis of major depressive episode is appropriate if the patient has been in a depressed mood and felt no interest in activities for at least two weeks, and also has at least five symptoms that impair functioning almost every day. These include unintentional weight gain or loss, problems sleeping, agitation or slowed reactions noticed by others, fatigue and low energy, feelings of excessive guilt or worthlessness, difficulty concentrating and recurrent thoughts of death.

“We’re not just talking about somebody who’s having a bad day or got into an argument with their spouse,” Dr. Lieberman said. “We’re talking about something that is severe, meaning it’s disabling and distressing and is not transient.”

Many doctors have long prescribed antidepressants soon after the death of a family member, even though the D.S.M. urges clinicians to differentiate between normal grief and pathological bereavement.

One 50-year-old New York City woman said her doctor prescribed an antidepressant a few weeks after her husband died, even though she thought her feelings of shock and sadness were appropriate.

“He told me, ‘You have to function, you have to keep your job, you have a daughter to raise,’ ” said the woman, who asked that her name be withheld because few friends or family members knew she was taking antidepressants.

Most of the study participants were not receiving specialty mental health care, but Dr. Cain pointed out that it was not clear who was making the misdiagnoses: a psychiatrist, non-psychiatrist physician or other provider, like a nurse practitioner.

But while a psychiatrist may spend up to 90 minutes with a patient before making a diagnosis, patients often are more comfortable with their primary care doctors, who rarely have that kind of time.

Dr. Lieberman suggested watchful waiting may be appropriate in some cases, and more integrated forms of health care may soon make it easier to send patients to a mental health provider “down the hall.”

Doctors need to improve their diagnostic skills, Dr. Mojtabai said, and must resist the temptation “to take out the prescription pad and write down an antidepressant and hand it to the patient.”

Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 04:04 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Wednesday, August 07 2013

This Month’s Expert: Michael Posternak, M.D., on Choosing Antidepressants

By Michael Posternak, M.D.

This Month's Expert: Michael Posternak, M.D., on Choosing AntidepressantsTCR: Dr. Posternak, thank you for agreeing to speak with us and I also want to thank you for having collaborated on a series of research articles that have been extremely useful to clinicians. I’d like to start with your article about factors that we use when we are selecting antidepressants (Zimmerman, Posternak, et. al., Am J Psychiatry 161:1285-1289, July 2004). How did that study come about?

Dr. Posternak: Most psychiatrists pretty much agree that all antidepressants are more or less equally effective. So if you start with that premise and you have 10-15 antidepressants out there, why are you picking one versus another? And what algorithm are we all using? Dr. Zimmerman developed a questionnaire for psychiatrists to fill out immediately after they wrote antidepressant prescriptions. We asked, “What influenced you to choose that medication?”

TCR: And what were your findings?

Dr. Posternak: We found that there were three compelling factors: The first was avoiding specific side effects, the second was the presence of comorbid psychiatric disorders, and the third was the presence of specific clinical symptoms. For example, many people wanted to avoid sexual side effects or weight gain and would choose meds based on this. And if a patient had depression plus panic disorder, for example, we would lean toward the SSRIs. And if someone’s clinical profile included both insomnia and poor appetite, we might choose Remeron (mirtazapine). As you can see, there was nothing terribly earth shattering about any of these findings, but they give us insight into what factors people are actually considering when they prescribe an antidepressant.

TCR: Do you find that there is much research support for the validity of these factors?

Dr. Posternak: No, because there isn’t much research to begin with. For example, if you look for papers on antidepressant efficacy for patients with comorbidity (and comorbidity is the norm rather than the exception) there is almost nothing out there. Most treatment trials assessing depression exclude patients with comorbid disorders or do not assess for them. A prototypical example would be the common practice of avoiding bupropion in patients with depression and significant anxiety. And yet John Rush and colleagues have published three papers showing no difference between Wellbutrin and sertaline in efficacy for anxiety in depressed patients (see, for example, J Clin Psychiatry 2001; 62:776-781).

TCR: You and Dr. Zimmerman have also written about the concept of “remission,” which has become the gold standard for antidepressant trials lately. How do you suggest we decide when a patient has responded well enough to an antidepressant?

Dr. Posternak: I think that is a terrific question. Even from a research standpoint, there is something problematic about using “remission” as the endpoint of a study. The problem is that, both in clinical trials and in our practices, patients start off with different degrees of depression. So let’s say you define your endpoint as a HAM-D score of 7 or less. A patient who starts at a HAM-D of 26 and has a 50% improvement will not meet criteria for remission, but will nonetheless feel much better than when they started the medication. Many patients may not reach the formally-defined point of remission, and may have residual symptoms and yet you and your patient may decide that you are satisfied with that response and you don’t want to keep pushing the dose or switching medications.

TCR: What research instruments would you suggest for use in our practices?

Dr. Posternak: Over the years, I have come to conclude that the CGI (Clinical Global Impression) is a pretty good judge. I ask patients, “Do you think your depression is partially improved or much improved since starting medication?” Usually if they are “much improved,” this corresponds with a greater than 50 percent improvement on the HAM-D, and most of us are not going to switch medications at that point. You might still try to tweak the regimen to help them sleep or improve their energy, but generally we would say that we have found something that seems to be worth sticking to.

TCR: And what are your favorite medication manipulations for tweaking the regiment to enhance response?

Dr. Posternak: The two that I use the most, and that I think are the simplest and most effective are: 1) Ensuring that patients get adequate sleep, and 2) Enhancing energy.

TCR: Tell me a bit about sleep. Why is this so important in resolving depression?

Dr. Posternak: When people don’t sleep it affects many other things like energy, concentration and mood, often leading to irritability. So one of the simplest interventions that I can do for my patients is to help them get a good night’s sleep. Some people are reluctant to take a sleep medicine and if so, I say to them, “This is important for your depressive illness, because if you don’t sleep well the research studies have demonstrated that you are going to be at higher risk for relapse.”

TCR: What are your “go-to” agents for insomnia?

Dr. Posternak: Well I often start with trazodone, because it is safe, it generally doesn’t lead to tolerance, and people like the fact that it has no addictive potential. I usually start at 25 mg because I don’t want them to get turned off from being groggy in the morning. If it doesn’t work at that dose, I will titrate the dose fairly aggressively until they are either sleeping well or they have limiting side effects. You can safely go up to 600 mg, which is an antidepressant dosage.

TCR: What do you do if trazodone doesn’t work?

Dr. Posternak: I like Remeron, but very often this is not an option because people are concerned about weight gain, so then I will move to benzodiazepines.

TCR: What about the non-benzo’s, like Ambien or Sonata?

Dr. Posternak: I rarely go to these next for a very simple reason, which is cost. I generally stick with the generics. I think that they are at least as effective and they are a fraction of the cost. My sense is that the non-benzos are marketed based on their lower risk of dependence or addiction, and yet I find in my clinical practice that people do not get addicted to sleeping pills. It just doesn’t happen, so why should we spend so much money on these other medications? I explain that to patients.

TCR: What benzos do you usually use?

Dr. Posternak: I simply use Valium (diazepam), 5-10 mg.

TCR: Why Valium and not Ativan (lorazepam) or Restoril (temazepam), or the others?

Dr. Posternak: Lorazepam is short-acting, so I find it less effective. Xanax (alprazolam) is the same thing; it is a very short-acting medication. It may help them fall asleep. It may even help the first few nights, but I find if I am treating more long-term insomnia that tolerance builds up. Restoril should be as effective as Valium in theory based on half-life, but in clinical practice I haven’t found that to be the case.

TCR: What about Klonopin?

Dr. Posternak: Klonopin I find is less sedating, which is useful for a daytime anxiolytic but I find that it is just not as effective as a hypnotic.

TCR: You also mentioned enhancing energy?

Dr. Posternak: Yes, and what I use for this, and what I feel is underutilized, is psychostimulants. A lot of times people are depressed, are not as happy as they would like, because they are not as focused or their energy isn’t as good. Like sleeping pills, stimulants have an immediate effect, which is nice and it is quite dramatic.

TCR: And then which specific medication do you like to use?

Dr. Posternak: Well, being boring and simple, I start with plain old generic Ritalin (methylphenidate) and I dose it 5 to 10 mg twice a day, early morning and early afternoon.

TCR: And what do you tell patients when you give it to them about potential side effects?

Dr. Posternak: I tell them that it is very well-tolerated, that its purpose is to increase their energy and help their concentration, and that we can increase the dose if it doesn’t work. As far as side effects, I’ll say, “You might get a tremor, it could increase your anxiety, it could cause insomnia, it could increase your heart rate, but in general people tolerate it very well.”

TCR: Do you see problems with stimulant abuse?

Dr. Posternak: A small minority of my patients report that they tended to get euphoric on stimulants and then crash afterwards. But this is rare.

TCR: How do you deal with prescribing stimulants long term?

Dr. Posternak: Once they are stable and I want to see them every three months I give them two post-dated prescriptions.

TCR: Is there anything else that you have been doing lately for antidepressant augmentation?

Dr. Posternak: Yes, we just completed a randomized trial of T3 (triidothyronine, trade name “Cytomel”) augmentation, and we found that it accelerated antidepressant response in comparison to placebo augmentation.

TCR: What dose did you use?

Dr. Posternak: 25 mcg QD.

TCR: Many psychiatrists are tempted to use Cytomel but are concerned about causing medical problems by adding thyroid hormone to our patients’ systems. What are your thoughts about that?

Dr. Posternak: I don’t think that they have to be concerned about that. If someone has an arrhythmia, I wouldn’t use it, but otherwise 25 mcg. is a very low dose; it is quite safe and you really don’t have to be concerned about that from a clinical standpoint.

TCR: And before you start, do you recommend that we get any particular labs?

Dr. Posternak: No, it is not necessary. If you use T3 and it works, then you will want to get a TSH at some point just to make sure you are not affecting the thyroid gland. But if it doesn’t work, you’ll just stop the medication and you’ll save your patient a blood draw.

This article originally appeared in:
The Carlat Psychiatry Report
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This article was published in print 1/2006 in Volume:Issue 4:1.

APA Reference
The Carlat Psychiatry Report. (2013). This Month’s Expert: Michael Posternak, M.D., on Choosing Antidepressants. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 7, 2013, from http://pro.psychcentral.com/2013/this-months-expert-michael-posternak-m-d-on-choosing-antidepressants/002640.html


Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jul 2013
Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 08:39 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Monday, July 15 2013

PsyBlog - People Are Happier When They Do The Right Thing

Link to PsyBlog

People Are Happier When They Do The Right Thing

Posted: 15 Jul 2013 06:28 AM PDT

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Communities that pull together in a crisis are happier.

What has happened to people's happiness all around the world as they've faced the economic crisis? How have they coped with job losses, less money coming in, the sense of despair and lack of control over a nightmare that seems to have no end?

That's the question that Helliwell et al. (2013) ask in a new paper in the Journal of Happiness Studies.

They guessed that one answer is one of the oldest in human civilisation: by pulling together.

Pulling together, though, has a new fancy name: social capital. Here are the kinds of things which tell you whether a group of people have 'social capital':

  • How many people do volunteer work in the community?
  • How many people have done a favour for a neighbour in the last month?
  • How many people have given a little money to charity (about $25)?
  • How many people regularly have meals together as a family?

These go on and on, but you get the general idea. It's essentially doing nice things for other people around you; they don't have to be that dramatic like donating a liver, just little boyscout-type activities count.

They then looked at a huge amount of data on both social capital and happiness across 255 metropolitan areas in the US and drew this conclusion:

"...communities with greater social engagement are happier than otherwise equivalent communities and that life evaluations fell by less, in response to unemployment increases, in those communities with high levels of a broad measure of social engagement."

So social capital has a protective effect: by pulling together through doing little things for each other, people helped keep their spirits up during the economic crisis.

Happy countries

Helliwell et al. (2013) also found the same when they compared between countries, not just between US metropolitan areas. They divided countries into those which had become happier since the crisis, those which remained about the same and those that had become less happy.

In the group of countries with falling levels of happiness (which includes the US but not the UK):

"We saw that average happiness drops were far greater than could be explained by their lower levels of GDP per capita, suggesting that social capital and other key supports for happiness were damaged during the crisis and its aftermath."

In contrast, South Korea is a country whose average levels of happiness have rocketed up since the economic crisis. This is partly because the economy has recovered remarkably well, but maybe also because of policies that have encouraged social capital. Here's the President of South Korea explaining:

"Korea has already proposed a new way forward from the global crisis. [...] We decided to share the burden. Employees chose to sacrifice a cut in their own salaries and companies accepted to take cuts in their own profits because they wanted to save their employees and co-workers from losing their jobs."

More than social: pro-social

The explanation for these effects is that humans are fundamentally pro-social so:

"...they get happiness not just from doing things with others, but from doing things both with and for others. Despite a wealth of findings that those who do things for others gain a bigger happiness boost than do the recipients of generosity, people underestimate the happiness gains from unselfish acts done with and for others"

Image credit: Shena Pamella

This site is written by psychologist and author, Jeremy Dean. It is completely free. Please help it continue by spreading the word. Thank you.


Making Habits, Breaking Habits

In his new book, Jeremy Dean--psychologist and author of PsyBlog--looks at how habits work, why they are so hard to change, and how to break bad old cycles and develop new healthy, creative, happy habits.

"Making Habits, Breaking Habits", is available now on Amazon.

 
Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 10:08 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Wednesday, July 10 2013
July 10, 2013, 1:19 pm

How Faith Can Affect Therapy

Can belief in God predict how someone responds to mental health treatment? A recent study suggests it might.

Researchers at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass., enrolled 159 men and women in a cognitive behavioral therapy program that involved, on average, 10 daylong sessions of group therapy, individual counseling and, in some cases, medications. About 60 percent of the participants were being treated for depression, while others had bipolar disorder, anxiety or other diagnoses.

All were asked to rate their spirituality by answering a single question: “To what extent do you believe in God?”

The results, published in The Journal of Affective Disorders, revealed that about 80 percent of participants reported some belief in God. Strength of belief was unrelated to the severity of initial symptoms. Over all, those who rated their spiritual belief as most important to them appeared to be less depressed after treatment than those with little or no belief. They also appeared less likely to engage in self-harming behaviors.

“Patients who had higher levels of belief in God demonstrated more effects of treatment,” said the study’s lead author, David H. Rosmarin, a psychologist at McLean Hospital and director of the Center for Anxiety in New York. “They seemed to get more bang for their buck, so to speak.”

One possible reason for this, he said, is that “patients who had more faith in God also had more faith in treatment. They were more likely to believe that the treatment would help them, and they were more likely to see it as credible and real.”

Of the 56 people who expressed the strongest belief in God, 27 also had very high expectations for the treatment, while nine had very low expectations. In contrast, of the 30 patients who said they had no belief in God or a higher power, only two had high expectations for the treatment.

“It’s one of the first studies I’ve read that actually looks at perhaps a mechanism” for “why we see some correlation between the strength of religious commitment or the strength of spiritual commitment and better outcomes,” said Dr. Marilyn Baetz, a psychiatrist at the University of Saskatchewan who studies the effects of religion and spirituality on mental health. An earlier yearlong study by Dr. Baetz and her colleagues found that people with panic disorder who rated religion as “very important” to them responded better to cognitive behavioral therapy, showing less stress and anxiety, than those who rated religion as less important.

Assessing how religious practices affect health is difficult, in part because researchers can’t randomly assign people to embrace religion or not, the way they might assign participants in a drug test to take a new medication or a placebo. Most studies of this relationship are observational, and people who are more or less religious may differ in other important ways, making it difficult to know whether religious faith is actually causing the effect or if it is a result of to some other factor.

But teasing out the effects of faith on treatment outcomes may be an important goal. Most Americans believe in God — 92 percent, according to a 2011 Gallup poll, though the percentage among mental health professionals may be considerably lower. One study from 2003 found that 65 percent of psychiatrists said they believed in God, compared with 77 percent of other physicians.

Previous research has associated church attendance with increased life expectancy and, in some studies, a reduced risk of depression. But this study looked not at how often the participants went to church or at their religious affiliation but at their belief in a higher power.

“I think it’s a scientifically sound way of measuring things that have to do with people’s experience of spirituality,” said Torrey Creed, a psychologist at the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, near Philadelphia. “I think about this as a study of cognitive styles, that there’s a pattern of thinking that helps people get better in treatment. And two examples of this pattern of thinking are ‘I believe in treatment’ and ‘I believe in God.’”

Randi McCabe, director of the Anxiety Treatment and Research Center at St. Joseph’s Healthcare in Ontario, said, “People’s belief that something is going to work will make it work for a significant proportion of people,” similar to the placebo effect.

“Your belief that you’re going to get better, your attitude, does influence how you feel,” Dr. McCabe continued. “And really, in cognitive behavior therapy, that is really what we’re trying to change: people’s beliefs, how they’re seeing their world, their perspective.”

Dr. Rosmarin offered further explanation for why religious faith might aid psychiatric treatment. “There’s a vulnerability associated with physicality,” he said. “I think people, psychiatric patients in particular, might recognize that vulnerability and recognize that things can’t be counted on.

“Sometimes medications don’t work, and sometimes psychotherapy doesn’t work,” he continued. “But if someone believes in something that is metaphysical, if someone believes in something spiritual, which would ostensibly be eternal, permanent, unwavering, omnipotent, then that could be an important resource to them, particularly in times of emotional distress.”

Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 01:10 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Friday, June 14 2013

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Christianity Today

Christianity Today, June (Web-only), 2013

Is Fatherhood Fading Out?

A Christian response to the boom in absent dads.
Is Fatherhood Fading Out?

As a girl, Father's Day underscored the other 364 days of the year, bringing a blaring reminder there was no father around to celebrate. The absence of that single, critical male relationship didn't just make me feel lonely and left out, it impacted my understanding of the world and my place in it. .

After reflecting on how my father's absence has impacted me as a girl and now woman, wife and mother in my memoir, The Artist's Daughter, others have shared with me similar stories of abandonment and struggle. Our collective stories confirm what statistics scream: that the bond from father to child is essential. Whether our dads were good, bad, or not there at all, this relationship shapes our understanding of our very identities.

Yet, we live in a country where too many of us have broken relationships with Dad. In America, 1 in 3 kids live apart from their biological fathers. A recent Washington Post article addressed the dad dilemma with the eye-catching title: The new F-Word – Father. In it, Kathleen Parker addresses a question being asked as we discuss the latest stats on America's female breadwinners: In the evolving 21st-century economy, "what are men good for?"

Parker concludes:

Women have become more self-sufficient (a good thing) and, given that they still do the lion's share of housework and child rearing, why, really, should they invite a man to the clutter? Because, simply, children need a father… . Deep in the marrow of every human child burbles a question far more profound than those currently occupying coffee klatches: Who is my daddy? And sadly these days, where is he?

While single mothers may have enough grit, love, and know-how to raise us, the absence of Dad will still have its effect. Study after study shows that a children with absent fathers are more likely to live in poverty, drop out of high school, have a failing marriage, even be incarcerated than those whose fathers are involved in their lives. The data confirms how much a father matters to a child's physical and emotional wellbeing and development. Fatherhood, it turns out, is a social justice issue.

But that's unfortunately where the church often ends the conversation. We lament the shift in the family structure, express outrage at the latest statistics. We bring absent fathers into the culture wars, wrapping them up with changing definitions of marriage and family. As we preach and debate, Father's Days go by and millions of children remain without the single, most influential male relationship that will continue to shape their identity throughout their lives.

If we take James' words seriously and see true religion as caring for orphans and widows (James 1:27), we must see strong parenting, orphan prevention, as part of the call. How do we practically support the idea of children maintaining relationships with their fathers, if the ultimate responsibility lies on the father himself?

We can—without fanfare—support the fathers we know, including those that live with their children and those that do not. As Christians, we can offer dads opportunities to connect with their kids. That doesn't mean plan another church carnival or father-daughter dance, though those are nice events.

Instead, as Christian families and communities, we should help foster organic relationships between fathers and children. Though relationships can be redeemed at any stage, the earlier the father-child bond is cultivated the larger the benefit is to the child. We can invite a dad and his kids into our lives, the things we are already doing, so they can experience life together. We support fathers as we ask a family over for dinner, ask them to go camping with us or signing up for T-ball together. Putting on the father-daughter dance is easier to execute because at the end of the night it's over, while organic relationships are open-ended. It's this side-by-side kind of journey that presents father and child the opportunity to be together.

We support mom and dad's relationship, despite the cultural shifts around marriage. Many couples choose to have kids before deciding if they will marry; the latest figures show 48 percent of all first births are to single women. While plenty of single or remarried dads remain committed to their children despite not being in a relationship with their mother, that arrangement becomes more difficult and more complicated. Quite simply, a father is more likely to be involved a child's life if he and the child's mother are together.

So, as Christians who care about fatherhood, we need to affirm the importance of the relationship between mom and dad, even if they aren't married. For some of us this is uncomfortable territory, to support relationships that may not look like we'd like. We can practically support these couples so they don't feel isolated. When we offer to babysit for friends to go to counseling or out to dinner, we are we are helping build healthier relationships—both between parenting partners and between parent and child. When we pray with and for couples who are struggling, when we openly discuss our own struggles in marriage we are modeling sticking it out in the difficult and that in turn supports fathers who are present.

Sadly, we must acknowledge that not every father is a safe person, and a severed relationship is in the child and mother's best interests. However, in the cases where connection and reconciliation is possible, we can extend our support.

We do it all clothed in love. Our goal is not to fight a culture war, but to love God with our whole hearts and to love others as we want to be loved. Our goal is to care for orphans and widows, to foster loving earthly families that reflect the love of our Divine Father. To do this, we as Christians must act clothed in love for parents and kids. Supporting fatherhood does not require a project or political campaign, but something much more meaningful: actual relationships with people in our midst. We should acknowledge and be grateful for the responsible, caring fathers we know. We should be patient and helpful with men working towards being better fathers. We should encourage reunion and reconciliation for fathers who live away from their children or who have grown distant over time.

God refers to himself as "Father" on purpose. The title embodies trust, provision and security. Let us help one another move closer to that holy representation, knowing we will always be stumbling and always fall short, but it is a critical relationship worth nurturing.

Alexandra Kuykendall is Mom and Leader Content Editor at MOPS International (Mothers of Preschoolers) a ministry to moms of young kids. Her memoir, The Artist's Daughter, explores her own journey of identity development and significance from childhood to marriage and motherhood. Connect with her at AlexandraKuykendall.com

Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 10:27 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Thursday, June 06 2013

Meditation That Eases Anxiety? Brain Scans Show Us How

Rick Nauert PhD
By Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on June 5, 2013

Meditation That Eases Anxiety? Brain Scans Show Us HowResearch and technology have advanced to the point where scientists can observe the way in which meditation affects the brain to reduce anxiety.

Using special imaging technology, researchers from Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center report that they have determined the way in which meditation affects or acts upon certain brain mechanisms.

“Although we’ve known that meditation can reduce anxiety, we hadn’t identified the specific brain mechanisms involved in relieving anxiety in healthy individuals,” said Fadel Zeidan, Ph.D., the lead author of the study.

“In this study, we were able to see which areas of the brain were activated and which were deactivated during meditation-related anxiety relief.”

In the study, published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, researchers followed 15 healthy volunteers with normal levels of everyday anxiety. Participants did not have previous meditation experience or diagnosed anxiety disorders.

All subjects participated in four 20-minute classes to learn a technique known as mindfulness meditation.

In this form of meditation, people are taught to focus on breath and body sensations and to non-judgmentally evaluate distracting thoughts and emotions.

Both before and after meditation training, the study participants’ brain activity was examined using a special type of imaging — arterial spin labeling magnetic resonance imaging — that is very effective at imaging brain processes, such as meditation.

In addition, anxiety reports were measured before and after brain scanning.

The majority of study participants reported decreases in anxiety. Researchers found that meditation reduced anxiety ratings by as much as 39 percent.

“This showed that just a few minutes of mindfulness meditation can help reduce normal everyday anxiety,” Zeidan said.

Researchers discovered that meditation-related anxiety relief is associated with activation of the areas of the brain involved with executive-level function (the anterior cingulate cortex and ventromedial prefrontal cortex).

During meditation, there was more activity in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain that controls worrying.

In addition, when activity increased in the anterior cingulate cortex – the area that governs thinking and emotion – anxiety decreased.

“Mindfulness is premised on sustaining attention in the present moment and controlling the way we react to daily thoughts and feelings,” Zeidan said.

“Interestingly, the present findings reveal that the brain regions associated with meditation-related anxiety relief are remarkably consistent with the principles of being mindful.”

While meditation is becoming generally accepted as a method to significantly reduce anxiety in patients with generalized anxiety and depression disorder, the current study (using sophisticated neuroimaging experiment technology) is the first to show the brain mechanisms associated with meditation-related anxiety relief in healthy people.

Source: Wake Forest University

Abstract of the brain photo by shutterstock.

APA Reference
Nauert PhD, R. (2013). Meditation That Eases Anxiety? Brain Scans Show Us How. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 6, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/06/05/meditation-that-eases-anxiety-brain-scans-show-us-how/55617.html

Posted by: Dr. Dan L. Boen AT 10:38 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email

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